20 years ago today, I was in my apartment listening to my roommate beg to go to Ryles Jazz Club to see a band. She was under age but they had a 19 and up night and she wanted to go. I had been living in Boston for a few months and was actually ready to move back to California, so I was all done trying to meet people or go out. An hour and a half later, she told me she would buy me a beer and that pretty much sealed the deal. I remember I wore a pumpkin colored sweater, jeans and earrings that matched my sweater. I remember brushing my hair and doing my make up because for some reason, I knew it would matter.
When I walked in, I paid the cover fee and as I waited for my roommate to pay her way, I looked at the drummer and everything stopped for a moment and I said “Oh my god, there’s my husband”. We sat down to listen and 30 minutes later they took a break. I figured he would just go to the bar or go outside but instead this drummer came over to me straight away with his hand up for me to shake. He told me his name was John and that is how we met.
I think about how we met a lot-even more so because we are marking an important anniversary. It was such a magical and fun night. Our first year was really amazing. I wish I could say that our whole life together was wonderful but really, it’s been quite a journey. I feel like we were finally in a good place these past three years and even then there have been so many bumps and twists and turns.
What I can say is this-I have two amazing children. They are the most fascinating people I have ever met. They are people that will change this world and are already making it better and I don’t say that lightly…so how could I think about if I never went out that night? How can I think about the first time we broke up, that was it? I just wish I could erase all those awful arguments, silent treatments and angry moments-those ones you think don’t count…but they do.