Who will take us?
What will happen to us?
Izzy asked KitKat who she wanted to go with. They have 4 choices. KitKat and Izzy actually agreed my sister and her family would take them. I am happy with their decision and proud they chose this on their own. I will put this in my will. There is so much more to that. If I die, they will be broken. They will need more than my sister taking them-it’s therapy and taking things moment to moment like we do now. It’s my sister and her family needing support. It’s too much, isn’t it?
Why won’t we be together?
Will people be sad for us?
Izzy is angry today. “Why can’t I just see him?” “You can’t see people who have died anymore.” She got angrier but it’s the truth. I won’t do the Hallmark sugar coated quotes “You can see him in your heart” that sounds awful. She knows there are pictures and videos. She knows she can see him in her mind. She wants to see him and feel him and I don’t blame her.
“I miss Dada”
When the girls say that. I no longer say “I miss him too” It doesn’t start a conversation. It ends it. So I learned to say “What do you miss about him?” “Tell me what you are thinking right now” and that makes them relax and want to talk because it’s their memory, their grief. They have that right to own it and talk about it. To feel it and to go through it.