Have you ever known a couple that didn’t make sense or that you knew shouldn’t be together (Not the relationships where alcohol or substance abuse is involved)? John and I were different from each other. Like fire and frost. Really. I love chocolate, he loves vanilla. I love to travel and my wanderer’s lust can get really bad, he likes to stay at home and grounded. I love spicy food and he tries to tolerate it but would end up in a big sweat. People looked at us and wondered why we were together. I know couples like that but I don’t question it. Not anymore at least. It’s not the whole picture you have to think about. It’s the everydays. No one is there for that. No one sees it or feels it. You create habits and routines. There is a familiar. There is liking just being with the person. There is the waking up and going to sleep. There is the want to be together.
I really miss laughing. With him. Making him laugh. No one ever got my humor, except him. No one ever got his humor, except me. Even in our most tense times, we would end up laughing. We always had that. When I think about this, it’s hurts. I want that laughter back.
I miss our everyday conversations. Just the simple normal “Hi, how was your day?” ones. I really miss his insight to things too. He always kept me leveled and to see a different side to things. I miss him telling me about his day.
I miss the four of us. Listening to John take the girls downstairs in the morning. Making coffee and watching them in the livingroom. Getting in the car for kiddie adventures. Coming home. Dinner. Slurping contests with our spaghetti. Evenings. Our evenings. I miss the way the girls would call for him and the way they smiled at him. KitKat misses his funny faces and since they both have long tongues, the tricks he would teach her with it. Izzy misses his hugs and how he used to sit with them until they fell asleep.
I miss the two of us. I miss the way he loves me…everyday.