You’ll find someone new

Why do people say this to widows?
Since John died, I have had this said to me many times by different people. The first thing I do is stare at the person for their stupidity and quietly nod because I don’t know what it means to find someone new and it’s not what I am thinking or doing.  Right now, I have a husband. I love my husband very much. I won’t ever forget about him. I miss him. I built a life with him. We had a past and planned a future together. We have kids and everyday, they remember life lessons he taught them. As young as they are, they live by them. My loss is real and it’s raw. His life mattered. His death matters. I just don’t get why it’s acceptable to say this to someone who lost a husband or wife-especially days after the loss. People don’t say this when a parent or sibling dies.  Mothers don’t hear this when their child dies.
So I meet someone new and we get married and then he gets sick and dies of cancer…then what?
Look at your husband or wife tonight at the dinner table and say to yourself “You will find someone new.”

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