Tomorrow is the first day of school.
Back to school used to mean John and Izzy winding down from Summer and getting everything organized. John would go through his school song list with Izzy and KitKat. He would take out his guitar, they would get their microphones or instruments and learn all the new songs. It meant clothes shopping and memorizing the names of the kids in the classroom.
Now, now it’s worry about the school year and if kids will say inappropriate comments and how Izzy and KitKat will respond to it. It’s writing emails to their teachers about John. Telling them about what happened. It’s awful. They are THOSE children and I hate it. It’s also being overwhelmed at the supply list for both girls. A friend of mine offered to order them online and ship them over to me-something she will definitely do next year because it’s not just one store, it’s many stores because it becomes a shopping frenzy for all the parents in the area.
Izzy, of course, is ready to go back. She will be in 3rd grade. She is a social butterfly and that is what school is for her-a place to be with friends and play.
KitKat starts kindergarten. She is nervous but excited. She has cried a lot this morning, saying she is nervous. We got her backpack and filled it with things she will need. That helped a lot. In some ways, I know she can do this-other ways, I am terrified she will spend six hours away from me. Will she make friends? Will she become more of a loner? Will she eat lunch? Will she cry? Who will tease her? Will she insist on being the leader and winning at every game she plays? Will she listen to the teacher? Will the teacher like her? Most importantly, will she like the teacher?
John would be so proud to go back to work. I wonder how his students are and I wonder if one of them will hope to see him in the music room on the first day of school. I know I shouldn’t think like that-but I do. Sometimes.
This past week has been so hard emotionally and I am teary more than usual. I will miss the lazy mornings with a young one, story time at the library, playdates and going to the playground.
The girls are a grade up away from John and that is painful.