Have you seen the Ghost of John?
Long, white bones and the flesh all gone!
Wouldnt it be chilly with no skin on?
John belongs in a quaint nightmare.
Wobbly jaw and a hollow glare!
Wouldnt things look murky through sockets bare?
John is gone from feet to skull.
Pointy elbows and clavicle!
Wouldnt it be harsh to hug Johns fossil?
Johns not sad; he has had his day.
Smile thats fixed in a rigid way!
Wouldnt frowning be hard when lips decay?
John once said, “Ive lost my head!”
Empty thoughts top his spine instead.
Isnt it the truth now that he is dead?
This is a Halloween song. Just like the skeletons and headstones that are part of the decorations this time of year. It seems so innocent.
A few weeks ago, Izzy’s music teacher was teaching The Ghost of John to the class and Izzy cried. The teacher took her aside and let her cry it out and talk about her feelings. She realized it was a mistake and went back to the class and they sang another song. I was so proud of her when she told me about it that night. I brushed it off because I thought that was the end of it. The next week, the class was asking to sing it. Even Izzy asked for it.
The teacher called me to tell me today to tell me what was going on. Izzy insisted on singing this song because she doesn’t want to stand out. She doesn’t want to be different.
She is different. There are times where she will stick out-others where she won’t. She doesn’t want fingers pointed at her, people getting upset or teasing her. She doesn’t want society to cast her out. Even as a newborn, Izzy has pleased people and molded herself to whatever crowd she is in. She has blossomed to be very social and sometimes can lead a group which is amazing to watch but she is sensitive to others and their feelings but this can cause emotional constipation and I don’t want that for her.
I told the teacher to not sing it (and will have to remind her every year until KitKat goes to middle school). After I hung up,I looked up the lyrics because I had never heard of it and it made me physically sick to my stomach.
I spoke to Izzy again tonight about it and told her that society is going to try to shape us not to grieve and that death cannot be talked about but it’s our right to grieve and we need to start shaping society so they learn to accept people who grieve and aren’t afraid about talking about the people who died. She replied “Oh, then we have a lot of work to do.”