A normal conversation

After school, Izzy and KitKat went to a neighbor’s house for a birthday party. My neighbor asked me stay, so I did. My neighbor knows John died and has helped me every time I asked. I am so thankful.

We sat and talked while the kids were scattered around the house playing. She looked at me and asked me how long John and I dated before we married. She was so comfortable asking (honestly, I wanted to go and hug her) and I was more than happy to answer. I asked how long she and her husband dated. We talked about the beginning of marriage, first pregnancies and family. There was no change of subject, tension or uneasiness.

I put the kids to bed and made some tea and sat on the couch and cried. It’s the first time in 18 months I had a normal conversation about John with anyone. It was nice to be asked a normal question and talk about our lives. This is what I want. He existed in this world and still exists in me.


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