“I made our family”

When KitKat and Izzy tell me this and then take out the picture to show me, I hold my breath, panic and wait.

Will John be in it? Will this be the picture where he isn’t in it? Will I be prepared to not see him in it? What will I say? Do? Will I be sad? Angry? How will I feel? What will I say? Am I ready? I hate these school assignments.

He is there-right there with us, smiling together and my happiness is empty-how is that possible?

a family

 

 

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