This is John’s birthday month and for the past few weeks, I have been so sad because it’s another one without him. I would have teased him that this was his last year of being in his 40s, that he was old and to enjoy it before he turns 50…but deep inside, I would know, as I did every year, how lucky we were to be growing old together.
I went to visit him yesterday and took a nap next to him. It’s the only time I sleep REALLY WELL. It’s a deep and peaceful sleep. I don’t go often but I sleep next to him every visit (even in the Winter-even in the snow).
Jeff’s Place is having a gala later this month and yesterday’s meeting, they showed us what the kids drew and said. It’s what they will display on each table. Izzy’s picture is so beautiful and KitKat’s made me weep. The pictures are below.
“The problem with grief is that it is love without an anchor; its timeline only goes one way – stretching back into the past because the future you had with this person no longer exists. And when you think about how powerful love is, when it no longer has a home, it can generate a vast amount of internal chaos.” -Pooma Bell